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If we went for a star rating in 2016…
We had thought “shall we use star ratings in 2016 for our reviews”. We had avoided them up to now as the words should do the talking. We feel that if we have stars in the reviews then people will ignore the review and just go off the stars.
Our other problem is that, whilst performers would love to see 4/5 stars – we wouldn’t give them out willy nilly. 3 stars would be the norm, as in “a good night at the theatre, better than staying in and watching tv”.
5 stars = The elusive rating. Possibly the best thing we will see this year.
4.5 stars = Extremely good. Memorable. We were on our feet applauding at the end.
4 stars = What are you waiting for, go and get tickets. This is a show we will be telling people about over the water cooler tomorrow
3.5 stars = We enjoyed it. Entertaining, well scripted and well acted.
3 stars = A good night at the theatre, better than staying in and watching tv
2.5 stars = Not bad at all, better than a dodgy soap opera
2 stars = There were a few things we would have done differently.
1.5 stars = As entertaining as playing ET on the Atari 2600 (Kids: ask your Parents)
1 star = As entertaining as watching the job adverts on teletext after midnight (Kids: ask your Parents) or we fell asleep (as we did in front of teletext after midnight a few times etc)
0.5 star = That’s it. We quit. We give up on creative types for ever allowing this to leave the workshop.